and you wish
you were still counting.
Even gasping breaths,
painful and strained,
are still signs of maybes –
of hope you know is running out;
But as long as you have one thread of an inhale to hold onto,
you don’t have to grip the air in your lungs
quite so tightly.
It’s when all you hear is silence
that you stop asking if he’s breathing
and worry whether your own life can be sustained
when this one was just taken up
and you wonder whether your heart can hold out
and when you realize it’s still beating,
you wonder – how?
when the force of love was removed from this Earth?
and eventually you think
maybe it wasn’t –
and one day you hear that love is the only force that can defy time and space
and move through all dimensions
and then you realize
the air wasn’t given up
but given over
and you’re still breathing
and just for today,
that is enough
to keep living.
I love you.
04.13.1943 – 01.14.2010